Sometimes you just need time and a little peace

I was happy to live in a poor monastery with my children.

But life is full of “surprises” and here I am, wandering again. It’s a new and old experience, given that since Dario passed away my life has been full of challenges and sudden changes which I had to face alone. And every time the situation has been dramatically different from the previous ones.

Like an ant overwhelmed by a sudden rain clings to a blade of straw to survive, I hold on to the Dharma. Stubbornly trying to put all the pieces of my days in a kind of Dharma frame. Which, honestly, sometimes is very difficult!

People come and go. Places come and go. It’s a blurred vision and it’s important not to lose the balance. Or at least, not too much. Sometimes I see my life as a dog that has caught an animal (my ego) by the neck and is shaking it to kill it. :)

When the ego, hopefully, will disappear, the problem will vanish too.

Right now my natural reaction to suffering is to help as many people as possible. I don’t want others to suffer. But I absolutely need a retreat, to put a little order in my confused and tired mind. A little time, a little peace. To recover.